I distinctly recall the moment I first heard about Nonviolent Communication. I was a farmer and mother of five children and was training to become a Waldorf teacher. During that time, I had a strong desire to develop myself and to enhance my abilities to support young people to develop individually. But years of intense challenges passed until GFK grabbed me again in 2008 and has never let go since. At that time, the quote, "Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? You can't be both," made a deep impression on me. I began to pause and reflect on what was important for me as a quality of life.
I soon discovered what profound change I could bring to my life by dropping the desire to be right, taking responsibility for my feelings and needs, and letting go of expectations for others to be as I wanted them to be. However, it took years to overcome deeply ingrained patterns and to truly embrace this new version of myself. Self-doubt kept surfacing, preventing me from finding my inner strength and cultivating a compassionate attitude towards myself and others.
When I think of all my companions and trainers on this journey, especially Marshall Rosenberg (whom I had the pleasure of meeting briefly), my heart fills with gratitude and love for the enrichment they have brought to my life. I would especially like to mention Simone Anliker, Patricia and Benedikt from Fokus Empathie, and my assessor Michael Dillo. These coaching personalities have provided me with a challenging and intensive learning experience, for which I’m extremely grateful.
NVC has permeated my life and touched all aspects of it. In my role as a social therapist, as a mother and as a partner, I have observed how preconceived notions of what is good for others, what is expected, what is done out of sheer duty or because it is "normal," jeopardise the wellbeing of individuals or of the whole community. So-called helping actions can quickly become abusive, well-intentioned actions can lead to traumatic experiences, and criticism can end in a dead end. Reclaiming the life force present in every human being (the divine energy) that longs to manifest and unfold in a safe space call for mindfulness and new structures.
For me, it has become crucial to question old thinking that has often become engrained in the structures of communities and to practice open and non-judgmental encounters. This means cultivating observation, including of my own thinking, and practising this with others. In this mindful "awareness," I experience the essence of life that nourishes me and others
As a companion and as a coach I want to see myself as a midwife who accompanies birth processes without pretending to, who opens space for resources and supports painful phases lovingly and empathically. I want to be someone who asks in every situation what share of resources I can provide and who retains openness and curiosity for what wants to emerge anew.
“I want to create spaces where NVC can be practiced and shared. My experience relates to difficulties in the family environment, in dealing with children, disabled people and smaller teams of schools or institutions or other communities. I also support people in individual sessions to work through stressful issues they are involved in, so that they can develop more peace within themselves and with others.”