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Maria Phan

Finland
Volunteer

CNVC trainer candidate, software engineer, and mother

All my life I have been puzzled about how to speak without attacking or being a doormat when facing another person’s anger. I hate attacking so I most likely either chose to be silent or not knowing what to reply, being unconsciously frozen. I was afraid that what I will speak next will only trigger more pain in the other person and this will trigger more and more paralysing pain in me. I am still wondering how to speak my own truth but not explaining out of the defensive energy. I am still puzzled on how to overcome my story about “It will only make matters worse if I open my mouth” and  to have that capacity to speak out the truthness of my heart with compassion. How to take that first step when my heart has shut down towards opening my heart to that light within me again?

I studied NVC since I wanted to understand what walking in love means for me? How I can radiate compassionate presence even when there is a storm inside me. For me, the real freedom is to choose to take one step closer to connection, no matter what I feel: trembling rage or petrifying paralysis, painful guilt or deep shame. Radiating compassion is something I want to remind myself every day. This is how I want to live my life.

I have been organizing Finnish NVC family camps from 2018 - 2021. In these camps it has been deep in my heart to build structures where families will have all the community care and support to attend the NVC sessions and kids having unforgettable memories.

Currently, I am a chairperson in the board of Finland NVC associate, where we long to make NVC events more reachable for Finnish people.

I was a member of the organizing team in IIT Finland Midnight summer 2022. My passion was to create a bubble where participants have a sense that they already belong when they arrive at the IIT. This is my second time organizing IIT and I cannot wait to be part of creating that magical environment where people can meet on that field, feel and being deeply touched by the divine energy.

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