"Relationship Reset" micro-lesson #5
Lesson 5 of 5 powerful NVC micro-lessons - 2026 "Relationship Reset" series
Repeat back = feel heard - "Relationship Reset" series
Have you ever had the 'Jackal' thought, “This is like talking to a brick wall”?
It might be that your partner or friends have had a similar experience.
Next time you notice the urge to defend yourself - a reaction that often increases resistance and defensiveness in others - try to echo or paraphrase the feelings and needs of the person you are talking to.
Try this sentence:
“So what I’m hearing is that you’re feeling overwhelmed because you need more support and help at home. Did I get that right?”
This isn’t about agreeing with the other person. It’s about acknowledging what they’re feeling and what is alive in them. Once someone feels heard, their nervous system can relax - and then they are more likely to be able to hear you.
Want to explore this skill more deeply?
Learn how to use the “Language of the Heart.” (Credit: @GiraffeNVC)
Watch the video
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