Transforming Reactivity II (Online)

Start Date
End Date
Official training hours
12.0 hours
In person
Main Topic
General NVC
Short description
In our 13th year to offer this retreat, we enjoy seeing 'old and new' friends. Many people bring their buddies or mates, or come by yourself as you will soon 'belong' to this welcoming community.
Offered by

Is this for you?You have taken a class series with me before and have been practicing Compassionate Communication (NVC). From your practice you know that there are underlying reactive patterns that interfere with your ability to access the skills you have been practicing. You recognize that turning towards these reactive patterns requires you feel vulnerable and be present with uncomfortable feelings. You trust that the group structure I offer and your own resources will allow you to do some of this difficult work in our eight week series.

What's it all about?
In this eight week class you will have the opportunity to work with common reactive patterns you find in yourself and others. These reactive patterns are called character theoryin Hakomi (also known as body-centered therapy). These reactive patterns tend to be less obvious and more chronic. They point to a need for healing often in relationship to childhood experiences.

You will practice identifying the subtle parts of these reactive patterns. You will also have the opportunity to learn and practice requests, strategies, healing responses, and missing experiences to meet those needs and begin to dissolve the associated reactive patterns. This course incorporates principles, exercises, and content from Hakomi along with the consciousness, skills, and framework of Compassionate Communication. The focus is on both healing and skill building.

Each week you will get to study a specific need, where you meet it easily, what interferes with that need being met and what reactive patterns tend to arise when you perceive a threat to that need. You will study the reactive pattern through physical embodiment of that pattern and through experiential exercises that highlight how that pattern functions in a specific context.

You will then cultivate a compassionate relationship to these reactive patterns through self-empathy, honest expression, and empathy. At any time you can apply what we learn and practice to loved ones in your life. For example, you might want to consider how you can offer support in a way that your partner, parent, child, etc., can receive more easily.

The course includes an extensive handout and you will be asked to read a section of your handout before each class. It's important to have your handout with you for every class.

Week 1 – Universal Needs = Safety and Belonging: Reactive pattern - Overwhelmed/Withdraw

Week 2 – Universal Needs = Support / Nourishment: Reactive pattern - Abandoned/Collapsed

Week 3 – Universal Needs = Support / Nourishment: Reactive pattern - Alienated/Self-Negating

Week 4 – Universal Needs = Authenticity, Power, & Intimacy: Reactive pattern - Hurt/Invulnerable

Week 5 – Universal Needs = Authenticity, Power, & Intimacy: Reactive pattern - Betrayed/Indirect

Week 6 – Universal Needs = Autonomy & Interdependence: Reactive pattern - Burdened/Enduring

Week 7 – Universal Needs = Recognition & Community (Being Seen/heard, Acceptance): Reactive pattern – Ignored/Industrious

Week 8 – Universal Needs = Recognition & Community (Being Seen/heard, Acceptance): Reactive pattern – Rejected/Intensifying

Week 1 – Safety and Belonging: Reactive pattern -Overwhelmed/Withdraw
You will be introduced to terminology for the course. Terms include: state of consciousness, categories of experience, missing experience, healing response, neural network, embodiment.

You will learn about the origin of the universal reactive patterns and how they function in general. This will include a discussion of needs met & needs at cost, emotional wounding and missing developmental experiences and the healing responses that go along with them.

You will work with the first pattern and basic needs using the three fold approach that we will use in each class. This approach includes: 1) Compassion: Cultivate compassionate witnessing of your experience. 2) Wisdom: dis-identify with the pattern (this means seeing through it to the truth of wha