Authentic Communication Group for Couples Tuesdays

Communicating authentically is vital to our well-being. How do you know if you’re being authentic? Is your body language congruent with your words? Do people move toward you or away from you? Does your intention match your impact?

What is an Authentic Communication Group?

This group, comprised of four couples, is a powerful way to work directly on interpersonal issues as they arise in the moment. In a learning laboratory, group members interact freely with one another in the here and now. Instead of talking about what happened last week, or dreaming about the future, you get to talk about what is happening right now. Rather than talking about -your family members, your work colleagues or your friends, you get to talk about what’s alive in the group. Keeping it real, you describe how you feel toward each other, what reactions you have, and what happens when you receive feedback from each other.

In this pure form of experiential learning, participants work in a small group of 8 participants (4 couples) with a seasoned facilitator.

Modalities 

We’ll rely on four pillars to support connection:

1. Nonviolent Communication
2. Internal Family Systems
3, Diversity Equity and Inclusion
4. Be Here Now

One of the most powerful ways to connect, grow and heal is to learn to speak for your parts as they arise in the moment. Expressing what comes up supports self-awareness, connection and healing. You also may find it useful to name clear observations, share your feelings, express your needs and make requests.

Format

• The group meets on Zoom twice a month for 2 hours
• Each meeting is recorded, so you can watch the recording later
• You can meet privately on the phone with your facilitator once a quarter to discuss your learning or any challenges you’re facing
• This long-term ongoing group has no more than 8 people

“I joined the group because I never knew what to say… until later. In getting to know my fears, I’ve learned to take risks. I am much more connected to myself, and to others.”

Options

In the group you might practice:

• Naming what you see about power dynamics
• Experimenting with new behaviors to get the results you want
• Raising difficult issues with care
• Exploring how gender, race, class, and ability impact the group
• Expressing yourself with greater authenticity
• Empathizing with yourself or others
• Giving and receiving honest feedback
• Connecting across differences
• Communicating mindfully, even when you are emotionally triggered

As you distill your learning from what is happening in the group, you’ll begin to experiment with new behaviors. That means taking risks. When you say something about the impact of someone else’s behavior on you, you give the group a gift. You learn not only how to communicate more authentically, but also discover that doing so allows you to raise issues live and resolve them for the benefit of the whole group.

In this group you get to be more fully yourself as you learn with your peers. Despite initial concerns about the feedback you might receive, you can expect to emerge with more choices and a wider range of self-expression.

When you reveal your unique qualities, including the shadow sides of yourself, you can release shame and heal your wounded parts. As everyone in your group becomes more and more authentic, you may find that you care deeply about each member of the group.

One of the more powerful outcomes is that members build a high-trust, open-hearted, supportive group.

As the group develops ease with being present in the moment, you enter a state of flow and aliveness. In this space you can build better relationships by:

• Getting in touch with your parts and speaking for them
• Reaching out to others empathically and building trust
• Expressing your vulnerability
• Finding the courage to bring up and work through difficult issues
• Communicating your anger or hurt constructively
• Allowing yourself to receive support and care from others

What You can Expect

Instead of talking about your outside relationships, you work directly on how you are relating to the other group members in the moment.

You get direct and honest feedback about how people are reacting to you. This helps you understand your interpersonal patterns that aren’t working, and then practice new healthier behaviors in the group.

As you witness others struggling with problems similar to yours, you learn about your deeper issues.

When you get to know each other, a strong sense of support for each person emerges in the group.

Group Composition

Our intention is to create diverse groups. Because NVC and IFS have primarily attracted white folks, and because people of color sometimes experience tokenism in these settings, we are intentionally creating groups that include people of many ethnicities, genders, sexual orientation, and social class. 

Bring a colleague: To support diversity, we request that you bring a person from an ethnicity different from yours. If you have the means, consider offering to pay for someone with less access to resources.

“In the safety and openness of our group I come alive with energy, clarity, creativity and courage to explore, experiment, and express. The process of self-discovery and integration is accelerated.”

Facilitators