Grass Valley, CA
After working for 14 years with business and social leaders in Israel, I met NVC at the end of 2007 when I moved to California with my family. I was immediately struck by the practicality and power that NVC holds in bringing people together in real collaboration and partnership, transforming separation into connection and conflict into mutual understanding. This magic is made possible through applying both compassionate and honest ways of speaking and listening, to self and others. It is my passion and privilege to seek and pursue peace in the world by sharing this work in all contexts of human life. [email protected]
Individual work: Aya's ability to listen, hear, all rooted in presence and deep attention, set a new bar for me as to how we humans could aspire to interact, not only to (re)solve conflicts, but on a day to day basis. A new vision of conscious relating was midwifed into existence by Aya. There are mirrors that reflect your image better than your own sight could perceive it, if you could stand beside yourself and watch - especially if the heart is cloudy. Aya is such a mirror, which remains an inspiration and a model for me. I am grateful that her soul dwells in this same age as I happen to be visiting here.
Working with couples: Though there was a lot of pain and distrust between us somehow through her, through our trust in her we restored our trust in each other. We have had now a session every two weeks and sometimes weekly, and I can say without a doubt that if it was not for her I would not be with my husband today, nor would I have had such compassion and understanding as a guiding force.
Parenting: During a conflict moment with my pre-teenage daughter, we called Aya for help towards communication. She explained slow and clear the use of NVC for a child's understanding, and provided a setting where we could hear each other and discover our misunderstandings. I found Aya's help very crucial at that moment, where a potential escalating conflict could be prevented and redirected constructively through communication. I had the feeling that through her service, I could re-establish a new contact level to my child again, which otherwise would have probably been lost, as it happens to many teenage or pre-teenage families, especially in single parent families, like my own.
Andreea Federspiel-Otelea, RN, mom of 9 1/2 old daughter
In the workplace: .I really experienced a paradigm shift internally relative to business management, and working with people. I discovered a whole side of myself, which until then was not truly explored, understood, or expressed in my experience of working with other people. I realized that (1) people were by far the most valuable asset a company can have and that (2) you cannot, nor would you want to, make others do anything they did not choose to, of their own will. I understood that I am no different then any other employee and that only by truly empowering everyone to do whatever they deeply want to and feel capable of doing, their contribution can be complete, their loyalty, commitment, and engagement won, their scope of contribution maximized. ...It was challenging to everyone, including myself, to understand the need to, and learn to want to, make oneself vulnerable by opening oneself to others, their needs and feelings. There were many layers of history of inter-personal issues, conflicts, and emotions to start peeling off... As we were experiencing the highs and lows of ourselves and the process, under the constant, imminent threat of the company being shut down by its owners and all of us loosing our jobs, Aya was an unwavering source of encouragement and hope, working intimately with each person with their own relationship to the team and the process. She acted as personal coach to each person involved and worked individually with everyone. Beyond a devotion to the process, she showed a rare sensitivity to people's individual points of view and a strong respect for it. She showed a talent of hearing people's inner, unspoken voices, behind their spoken words - often beyond their own understanding of the true meaning of their own words... This lasted for nearly two magical years, until my retirement from my managerial role in the company. Her direct (and indirect) contribution to the well being of the company on one side, and the morale and dedication of the team members on the other, was very significant. Work atmosphere in the offices was dramatically more harmonious and cheerful; communication much improved, number of sick days was down, and the company achieved profitability for the first time in its history. I personally felt fortunate to have met her and having had the luck to be involved in this process, which she initiated and guided. I still feel so, and have found ways to use the same tools and communication skills I learned from her in my relationship to all other people in my life: my family, my business contacts and customers, my friends. I feel that she helped me become a better person.
Gideon Beinstock, Owner of Clos Saron Winery, Oregon House, CA