During the last 15 years I have worked on a secure institution for young criminals between the age of 15 and 18. Through all these years I have experienced several personal conflicts with the young s, that left me thinking that I actually didnt get to say what I really wanted to say, and/or I didnt really hear/understand the person needs. All I wanted was to be right, believing that my colleagues and I had the power to force through our opinions and methods to make sure all rules were complied. Each and every one of these discussions/conflicts left me with an inner emptiness – this didnt feel right.
I was diagnosed with ADHD 7 years ago. Suddenly it made sense that I wasnt able understand nor listen other people needs. I was way too busy forcing through my own ideas and thoughts about everything. Then I started meditating and today I have 100% control over my ADHD, through meditation and self development only.
One day I came across NCV on the internet. I immediately became interested. All though I could feel, that what I read made very good sense, it also left me a bit confused.
I attended my first course which provide a little more clarity, however a big part of me was still very confused. But now something inside me created peace and calm when I started thinking in Feelings and Needs.
I became part of a cognitive program that was offered to all our young criminals. Over a period of 2 ½ years we developed the program with 2 psychologists. A part of the program is Communication. The young criminals where thought assertive communication but I felt something was missing. It was like they couldnt quite feel it. Then I started using the little NVC I had learned – the peace and depth the conversations we had after that was amazing. Then we started adding more and more NVC. During this time I attended more and more courses with NVC. The significant change in behavior with the young ones, in only a few weeks, have left all of my colleagues very curious.
Our colleagues showed great interest in learning NVC from us, then we started to ask what happened when they perceive d a conflict. Most of them said that they ran out of words, and that they had no idea what to do whit the either the person or themselves.
This caused our management team to ask of us to make a course for our colleagues, using NVC whenever possible. Once completed teaching our colleagues by the end of year 2015, we will continue teaching our young criminals. My goal is to change, through NVC, the use of physical force.