The Connection Between NVC and Leadership

NVC In Leadership Call One

On July 5th, 2010 Alan Seid asked the CNVC Certified Trainers the following question:

If you could pick your top three (or more) points to summarize your understanding of the connection between NVC & leadership -- or how NVC skills enhance our capacity for leadership -- how would you articulate that; what would you say?

After receiving a number of replies to his question it was decided that the Certified Trainers would host a series of phone conversations to discuss leadership and NVC. (See the replies below) This is the first of three calls. Future calls will be available soon.

On July 27 11 CNVC Certified Trainers gathered by phone to focus on identifying leadership skills. This edited recording is the first of a series. Hear what these people see as important considerations for using NVC in leadership.

Click for recording 1 hour and 10 minutes. 66Mgb

Valerie Lanctot-Bedard, Shari Macree, Kathleen Macferran, Jori Manske, Eliane Geren, Rodger Sorrow, Mair Alight, Cate Crombie, Faye Landey, Peggy Smith, Bob Wentworth,

Topics suggested for agenda

  • Reactions to what people have posted on the CT list about leadership
  • How do we access leadership skills; accessing our own resources
  • Stories - How we have or are experiencing leadership in our own life
  • How we are  fostering leadership in others
  • What leadership means to each of us
  • How to work together with others in organizations
  • Leadership skills (chosen by polling to be topic for today)

Leadership skills harvested together (identifiable, measurable, demonstrable, teachable):

  • Setting example, walking the talk, showing up
  • Listening
  • Honest expression
  • Group facilitation - making it easy for others
  • Conflict resolution
  • Planning
  • Evaluation
  • Teaching
  • Visioning (& with others)
  • Co-creating
  • Self-connection
  • Discernment
  • Perspective of interdependence\
  • Accessing creativity
  • Inner state management; expanded tolerance
  • Flexibility; openness
  • Effective delegation
  • Awareness of group dynamics
  • Calling people to common purpose; facilitating a container for the group
  • How to apply NVC where domination is engrained
  • Fostering leadership
  • Living by one's dream (inspiring others)
  • Having experienced power-with in our bones so that we can pull out the will to have it

The discussion of leadership among the trainers was initiated by Alan Said on July 5th

The initiating question by Alan (July 5th):
“If you could pick your top three (or more) points to summarize your understanding of the connection between NVC & leadership -- or how NVC skills enhance our capacity for leadership -- how would you articulate that; what would you say?”


Dominic Barter (Dominic is no longer a CNVC Certified Trainer. He is the coordinator for The Restorative Justice Project (July 6th):

"Leadership involves moving towards change, and thus is likely to include creatively engaging with conflict. NVC features what i have found to be essential guidelines and recommendations for engaging with conflict."

"Leadership involves stepping out from others, and thus sometimes being alone, distinct and, on occasion, isolated. NVC supports us in deep inner resilience when promoting what is unpopular, meeting pained or disinterested expressions of disagreement and/or incomprehension, revealing why we act as we do, inviting dialogue and (re)establishing connection across differences."

"Leadership involves transparency, vulnerability and simultaneous holding-to-principles and smoothly-shifting-strategies. NVC guides us in an ongoing process of transparency with ourselves and others, willingness to engage and change (receiving critical and encouraging feedback, for instance), and - as we do - makes a rock-solid distinction between what is most important and how we act. "

Miki Kashtan (July 10th):

"Leadership involves exercising power. NVC supports us in learning to understand the nature of our power, and in developing strategies that increase our capacity to exercise our power in ways that include other people's needs, including in particular engaging with others' needs for autonomy and meaningful engagement."

Jori Manske (July 10th):

"There are 2 levels of leadership:
the capacity and awareness to take a lead in our own life - to be the captain of our own vessel, influencing others in the creation of our world.

"NVC supports both of these through increased self-connection and connection with others, means/skills for co-operation and mutual satisfaction, and increased possibilities and creativity through the expanded awareness available when we see things through the eyes of others as well as our own."

Gitte Zimmermann (July 10th):

"Leadership involves balancing the needs of the individual and those of the group, particularly when pain is triggered. NVC supports us in focusing on needs and a level of connection from where we can move on, identifying strategies that take care of pain triggered while at the same time enabling us to move on with activities."

Myra Walden (July 10th):

"Leadership entails being in touch at all times with the pulse of the group. To this effect, NVC provides leaders with deep listening skills and a way to transform criticism and blame, often present when people are disgruntled, into connection and mutually satisfying solutions."

"Bosses may seek for people to adhere to the rules, produce, do as they are told. Leaders seek to inspire people to help fulfill the group’s mission. NVC provides leaders with a model to inspire their constituents through vulnerability, empathic understanding, and mutuality."

(July 11th):
"Leadership entails giving challenging feedback when the actions of group members do not serve life. NVC provides leaders with a model to give feedback in ways that minimize resistance and maximize learning."

Jack Lehman (July 11th):

"Leadership appears to be primarily a matter of following, following what’s alive in me. To apprehend what is alive in me, it helps me to listen in. Others will join with this clarity and co-create strategies and action, or not. If the two steps of the NVC dance are Empathy and Honesty may the first step be self-empathy. To paraphrase Saint Augustine – "Listen in, then do what you will."

at July 27 meeting:

Jori Manske: LaoTze: The true measure of leadership is when others say, YES we did it ourselves

at Aug 19 meeting:

Godfrey Spencer: Inspiring, empowering, encouragement. Helping people to gain energy.

Bob Wentworth: Having a vision and direction and encouraging others to have a vision and direction.

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connection between nvc and leadership

Thank you for posting this phone conversation for public use. I learned and relearned through review important leadership skills. It is so helpful and encouraging for me to have this aid as it sharpens my awareness of what skills I have and those that need fuel! With the new year beginning and as I continue to contribute to several local organizations, this posting is timely for me. I'm energized by hearing how leadership skills enhance the dreams I have for my future and the future of these organizations. Each month as NVC Nashville offers an introduction to NVC to the community, we specifically direct participants to visit the CNVC website for just this type of cost free resource. I can't wait to share this next Monday for what we call First Mondays in Nashville. Thanks again for making these accessible to all!
carlene robinson

Wow thank you for this post,

Wow thank you for this post, it's very interesting!I think it's a little complicated but interesting!



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