I'm Dressed For Success!

If you are curious about how I define "success" for myself, you can click to read my inner child blog post today:  I love being read. Satisfying needs to matter and for purpose and for play!

Thanks for reading me. Share me with your friends that you imagine might be enriched? Thanks!

The Story of How the New World Began: You and the Old Man Picking Up Starfish

coming to walk along the ocean in the early morning, you saw an endless stretch of dying starfish on the sand. As you walked along you came upon an old man picking up starfish and returning them to the ocean.

Why are you doing that, you asked.

So they have a chance to live, he replied.

What! you exclaimed, Look at this beach. There are thousands, maybe millions of starfish. What difference can you possibly make?!

He answered you simply, looking down at the one he was holding carefully in his hand. I make a difference to this one,he said,  as he tossed it into the waves.


You stood there silently. You heard the echo of his words in your heart. In your entire being. Something moved inside of you. Something moved. It was your hand, reaching for your cell phone. You typed a message to everyone you knew. A simple message:


Come to the beach. Starfish need our help.


Here's What I Know About Fear

In many ways, 2017 has been a year of facing fears for me. Some fears I've intentionally walked toward as part of my healing and my experiment in coming alive. Other fears have found me unawares.

If you'd like to learn more about fear and how to respond to it, check out my new video blog post. I explore fear from neurological, psychological, and spiritual perspectives.

I'd love to know what you think. Please leave a comment, and subscribe to my Youtube channel if you'd like to be notified of future videos. If you have any requests for future video blog topics, I'd love to receive them.

Until next time, take care of your heart.


Book Talk: The Heart and Science of Relationship Success
September 20, 2017

Meaning of "Ahimsa"

The Sanskrit word Ahimsa is often interpreted to mean something like "the state of the heart that knows no enemies". It's a pretty inspiring image, and I've marveled more than a few times at what it's like to be in this state, especially when in the heat of tough situations. This is the high hope we have for all humanity - that we can differ without being enemies, and perhaps even rejoice in the differences and challenges. It sometimes feels a long way from reality in our world, but hey, we all need a vision for inspiration.

I think it's also important to consider the more literal translation of the word - himsa meaning "injury, harm", and a- being a negative prefix. So the translation is literally "to do no harm". It's not just accuracy for the sake of accuracy (my strong detail-oriented side coming through). There is a real practical reason why this matters.

It's Not About Feeling Better; It's About Getting Better At Feeling

The following post is an excerpt from my book Meet Me In Hard-to-Love Places: The Heart and Science of Relationship Success

Widen the Window

Could You?

For the past three years I've been dropping Marshall's name, sharing quotes and links and telling friends how using NVC has impacted my life.  This weekend was no exception when an old friend called at the end of her marital rope again.  This time I gave her empathy first and then asked if she would enjoy some advice.  I am growing weary of sounding like a broken record but she said "yes, yes" and soon had watched a video and found the copy of his I had recommended she read years before. This time it clicked and I got a "Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!!" text later that day.

Listening to Hard to Hear Expressions

Ready to explode if you hear one more statement from someone you care about that just goes against the grain of everything you believe in?! Tired of hearing people complain about what they don't like or don't agree with? Ever think, "I just can't listen to another word" and then imagine a piece of duct tape over the other person's mouth thinking "I just want a moment of peace!"? Listening to people speak their mind when they are angry or in opposition to our own thinking can be extremely frustrating if we are caught up in thinking about who is right and who is wrong, especially if we think we are absolutely right and the other person is nuts! 

What is a Conscious Relationship?

In an interview with Helen LaKelly Hunt and Harville Hendrix that I often recommend to people, Helen and Harville define a conscious relationship as one in which each partner is aware that the wounds and relationship dynamics from childhood will have a big influence on their relationship. In other words, they are conscious that what is stored in their unconscious minds matters. A lot. Harville and Helen go on to explain that we are unconsciously attracted to a partner who will bring up the same or similar issues from our childhood. And, whereas with our conscious minds we see all the things that we think make us compatible, our unconscious minds bring us together based on our incompatibility—our partner will behave in ways that don’t meet needs that weren’t met in childhood.

NVC training in Raleigh, NC, USA on May 20-21, 2017

We are excited to announce the location for the intermediate level NVC training with Roberta Wall!

The training will be May 20-21 at the Wade Edwards Learning Lab, also known as WELL. Their website is, and they are located at 714 St Marys St, Raleigh, NC (right across the street from Broughton High School).

In case you missed the previous email, Roberta Is a certified NVC trainer who is based in Asheville. You can learn more about Roberta at her website, The topic  is using NVC to connect in the midst of political differences, also applicable to applying NVC in all communications.

The training will be held on Saturday May 20 from 9:30-4:30 and Sunday May 21 from 9:30-12:30 (morning only).

There is an option to attend on Saturday only.

Participating in this training will count towards trainer certification.

My Ebook is Free Until Jan 22, and My Print Book is on Sale

My Ebook is free until January 22. My print book is on sale for $9.99. Find both here.

A year ago, after three years of writing and editing, I finished my book and launched it into the world. For various reasons, it was extremely difficult for me to finish my book. Near the end, it seemed as though everything that could go wrong did. I was very relieved when it was all finished. I celebrated, I did some book promotion, and then I took a break from my book for several months.

My break is over and my book is ready for another lift off. The feedback from those who have read it has made my heart dance with joy. People email me just to tell me how much they appreciate it, and I almost cry from knowing that it was all worth it (OK, sometimes I actually do cry).

The Center for Nonviolent Communication
9301 Indian School Rd NE Suite 204
Albuquerque, NM 87112-2861 USA
Tel: +1.505.244.4041 | Fax: +1.505.247.0414 | US Only: 800 255 7696

NEW fundraising opportunity for US residents.

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