A Story of Successful Relationship

Imagine you are born into a small community in which everyone knows each other. Your parents are valued in the community and are well supported. As a baby and young child, you are often held, carried, or wrapped against your mother or father, and they are very responsive to your cries for connection or comfort. What’s more, your extended family is directly involved in raising you. In fact, all of the adults in your community keep an eye on you and help care for you.

Nonviolent Communication And Radical Self-honesty Make A Good Pair

If you are into Nonviolent Communication, there's a good chance you're aware that it entails observe, state your thoughts, state your feelings, state your needs, and state the positive results that will ensue from your needs being met.

This goes hand-in-hand with Radical Self-Honesty which is based on truthful observations, thoughts, feelings, needs, and positive results.

Before we continue, I think it is a good idea to define a few terms:

Unconditional Self-Love

If response to my 2013 video on implicit memory is any indicator (it's by far my most viewed video, find it here), people are catching on to how important it is to understand implicit memory. A good understanding of implicit memories and of how to integrate them has been immensely helpful for me.

In my latest video, I explain a process I use for working through my own difficult implicit memories. This process has given me some of my deepest experiences of unconditional self-love. Find it here. And see below for some extra notes related to the process.

Nonviolent Communication Entails Owning Your Stories.

I have realized in my experiences with human beings (I'm writing from the perspective of a Nigerian living in Lagos) that the inability to own your stories leads to violence in your interpersonal interactions.

What do I mean by this?  Your stories refer to the events that have happened to you during the course of your lifetime.  In owning your stories, you choose to keep them to yourself as you discuss only your sincere observations, thoughts, feelings, and needs with others.

It is true that many self-help books out there write about the benefits of self-disclosure in your interpersonal interactions but the truth is real intimacy results from being able to share your sincere observations, thoughts, feelings, and needs with human beings as you get constructive feedback that lets you know your listener got your intended message and executes your message in such a way that your needs get met.

Empathy 101: Speaking and Listening — Effective Communication Through Empathy

Colleagues not following through? Teens not doing their homework or chores? Your partner prioritizing work over you and your relationship?

In this interactive workshop, learn how to inspire and motivate others without coercion, guilt or shame — getting far better results in the long term and with less pain. Come with some actual situations you'd like greater clarity on.

Tue, Mar 13, 2018, 7 pm

Tickets from $35

Dian Killian

Empathy 101: Making Peace with Your Inner Critic — How to Ease Up on Negative Self-Talk


Negative self-talk can drain energy and block us from achieving our full potential.​

Just as bad: Our inner critic often affects how we relate to others, resulting in a lack of harmony, connection and understanding. In this interactive program, learn techniques to help you embrace the positive intent of your inner critic and gain greater clarity about what matters most. And get the results you want!

Tue, Feb 13, 2018, 7 pm

Tickets from $35

Dian Killian

Empathy 101: Setting Achievable New Year's Resolutions

Tired of setting new goals each year and disappointed by missing the mark?

Based on tried and tested coaching and communication techniques, learn in this program how to connect with what's really driving your choices and make goals for yourself that are tangible, doable and achievable, leading to greater satisfaction, self-understanding and results!

Tue, Jan 23, 2018, 7 pm

Tickets from $35

Dian Killian

Feeling Your Way Through

Holidays and family visits can bring up all kinds of difficult conflict and emotions. If you're looking for support, I'm here for you - read more about my support in my blog post below.

You'll also find good support in my book. I've put my ebook on an 80% sale from Dec1-8 and the paperback version is 30% off Dec 1-15 (the start date might be Dec 2 or 3, depending on how long Amazon takes to make the change. 

You ask Why? I ask Why Not?

Dearly Beloved Teacher told me that to ask the “why” of a thing is a way to deny a thing.

Asking why could be a way to deny a thing.  Could be curiosity and wanting to know more about it. Could be because I can’t think of anything else to say to connect with the other person about what they are saying. Could be something else…

Asking Why Not is a way I can express my openness to expand, explore, experience…

Sometimes it’s just that simple!

How about you? What motivates you to ask why?

Comment to share your reply.

I'm Dressed For Success!

If you are curious about how I define "success" for myself, you can click to read my inner child blog post today:  I love being read. Satisfying needs to matter and for purpose and for play!

Thanks for reading me. Share me with your friends that you imagine might be enriched? Thanks!

The Center for Nonviolent Communication
9301 Indian School Rd NE Suite 204
Albuquerque, NM 87112-2861 USA
Tel: +1.505.244.4041 | Fax: +1.505.247.0414 | US Only: 800 255 7696

NEW fundraising opportunity for US residents.

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