Sabine Mariss

Language of Report: 
English
Year of Report: 
2015
Share My Report With: 
General Public (Including Certified Trainers and Certification Candidates)
A. Approximately how many training days did you have this year?: 
15
B. Briefly list the groups and organizations you worked with this year as a trainer.: 
Universities of Göttingen, Hannover and Kassel in Germany.
C. Approximately how many people did you offer NVC training to this year?: 
80
D. What are you celebrating about your training experiences this year? What was significant for you? What touched your heart?: 
Offering NVC at Universities, working with young researchers and employees is sometimes quite challenging because many of the participants are first struggling with the idea of self-reflection and responsibility for my actions, feelings and needs. Also the idea that every human being - including their superior! - has the need to contribute to the wellbeing of others is sometimes hard to digest. They would prefer some tipps and tricks how to force through their preferred strategies without connecting with themselves and others. I am celebrating that I have full understanding for their wish and still find ways to invite them to follow me into the world of connection... This is exhausting sometimes and that can make me struggle as well. So I am also celebrating that I keep doing it anyway! And I celebrate especially those moments where people who start with doubts and resistance open up and express gratitude at the end.
E. Would you share some difficult experiences you had while training this year and how you handled them?: 
Recently I had an open introductory workshop at a University where four of the seven participants were members of the same team, including two leaders. Three of them came with lots of scepticism, which they expressed quite openly and on top of that some of the nonverbal communication between them could be interpreted very easily as dissatisfaction and criticism. All this triggered some wolves and made me feel insecure. After observing them and my reactions for a while and empathising silently with me and them I found a way to address part of what was going on inside of me and after that honest expression I had a much better connection with two of them and my impression was that after that they could realise that I am not just "another enemy".
F. How do you teach the spiritual basis of Nonviolent Communication in your workshops and training programs? : 
One core aspect to me is the goal of being more present in the here and now. I support people in connecting more with their present body sensations, present feelings and needs. Also Marshalls positive conception of the human being which includes that we all have the need to contribute to the well being of others is part of the spiritual basis of NVC in my understanding. And I alsways integrate this in my work, also dealing with the objection that comes. And, coming to a christian quote: "Love thy neighbour as thyself" I value very much the idea that loving myself is the basis of loving somebody else. So first empathy for me and then for you. And loving myself includes listening to and translating my jackals. This is what I always invite people to.
G. Please describe your social change goals...: 
I work with researchers and employees (and sometimes professors) of three Universities for 8 years now and what I would love to do is to work with a group of professors in a longer training, together with a colleague. Teach them NVC could have a big impact on how they communicate with each other, how they do their research work and their teaching, focusing more on cooperation, trust and mutual support instead of competition. I believe that sience is a crucial area when we speak about all the problems we are facing. So to support people with power in this field so that they dare changing the culture and system makes much sense to me.
L. What are your current growing edges or challenges as a trainer that you will be working on in the future?: 
Working at Universities includes having mostly only two days workshops. And that`s it! One exception: I have one small group(they are employees who counsel students) which I met already 10 days or so. That`s wonderful because we can dive much deeper and they tell me regularly how NVC changes their life, both professionally and privately. So I would love to have more groups like that and want to see what I can do to make it happen. But the challenge remains: How to deal with my exhaustion and sometimes frustration after one of those short "standard" workshops? And also: How to change the agenda - which I do regularly ; ) - so that my offer fits the time frame and the participants still better. I regularly speak with my dear friend and colleague Gerhard Rothhaupt about this topic and will just continue doing it : )))
N. Is there anything else you would enjoy sharing with the CNVC network?: 
Puh! This is hard work!!! Need another break ; ))) This is my first report and I feel quite vulnerable. Also doing it in english... So if anybody would like to connect and give me feedback that would be beautiful!
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