a student

Hi Marshall,
I can't thank you enough for the impact you have already had on my life. I have worked with your materials for two years. Let me start out by saying that I am a diagnoser bar none. I always interject my diagnoser diagnosis when I am giving a crash course in NVC, and to date, no one has protested my admission, they just smile. It was Mark Twain who penned a bewildered Adam describing Eve as having "such a rage for explaining"--that's me.

كلام جميل

Thanks for teaching me to "don't just say something, stand there."
That aside, my beloved step daughter is struggling with addiction and when she is exhibiting symptoms of denial, she goes into a blame game. I am coaching her in the 4 step process, and last night she said "This is really calming." She asked how long it took to learn this, and I said I would let her know when I felt I had learned it..
I then recalled an incident from this past May, when NVC did in fact kick in for me. We had a family wedding and a nanny responsible for five small grandkids, their parents in various stages of party mode. I unwittingly watched a struggle between my stepdaughter's husband and the nanny over feeding another nephew healthy food or giving into a tantrum for junk.

كلام جميل عن الصداقة

No one knew I was in the room, and my step son in law brought out the junk food and said "we aren't going to fix this and I am sick of the drama", making the nanny cry. My stepdaughter started yelling at her husband and the nanny threatened to leave. I walked out of the shadow and said "I really wish I hadn't been sitting here, but here I am." I empathized. "I agree that we aren't going to solve behavior problems this week. I, too, dislike the drama. We all feel frustrated and stressed out." Then: "I am concerned, however, because Kari (nanny) has a huge job, with a swimming pool, and the kids welfare in her care. If they don't feel they have to listen to her, it could cost one of them their life. It might have been nice if you had taken her aside, كلام جميل keeping her authority role in tact." Within minutes my step son in law came up to me and said "thanks for the wake up call." The nanny wrote me a thank you, after the wedding telling me how much she respected me. I actually gave myself a 92 in NVC for that one.
My stepdaughter remembered the incident and I believe the work we are now doing together will help her, first with her addiction, and then with a new set of life skills. my Platform: "The best blended family in america" has surely benefitted from implementing your work.

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The Center for Nonviolent Communication
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