Eliane Geren

"Dear Marshall,

Yes, the first homemade video I watched of you giving a workshop woke me up to the possibility of a better way to communicate.

Yes, the book you published in 1999, made me cry and laugh because I connected with the dream of what you shared.

And . . .

There are three specific things I remember in personal interactions with you that continue to enrich my life today:

1.) I went to a training for trainers near Chicago in 2003 and at one point I was expressing something to another participant in the circle. You interrupted and said something like: ""You are expressing your thoughts aloud and you are TAKING PEOPLE'S LIVES. Would you just get to the essence of what you mean to convey?""

I'd never been labeled as a person who talks too much and at first I was shocked. However, I've never forgotten. And, I realize that most people haven't learned how to interrupt as effectively as you have and so, I aim to share my feelings and needs in succinct ways that connect.

2.) I was sitting in a van with you in NYC and I was telling you about my husband who'd done ""something"" that bothered me. You asked, ""And why is that a problem?"" Again, you didn't express in classical Giraffe, but I got it. In other words, if I saw and heard my husband through the lens of feelings and needs, what could be the problem? This reminder has served me a lot since then.

3.) At another training, you said, ""My needs will be be met until everyone's needs are met."" That struck a deep chord in me and I felt a sense of companionship I hadn't felt before about that concept.

Much Love,

Eliane (Geren)"
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The Center for Nonviolent Communication
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