My heart is tender with hope and all it took was one day with Afghan children rich in giving and receiving. We sang, drew, painted, colored and played connecting at the human needs level. We created a country within a country for a day. A country where no one got in trouble or punished and all were treated equal with a chance to express their own aliveness. We created a country with laughter, joy, safety, ease, harmony, community, belonging, inclusion, inspiration, creativity and happiness. While just outside the borders, the windows of the building, men stood in their country armed with guns. A reminder that not all have learned yet that there can be more fun and effective ways to meet human needs.
Regarding universal needs, we're delighted to now be carrying a list of them, completely generated by the minds and voices of 40 enthusiastic Afghan children. The children gathered that day were from the streets, local schools, a school for the deaf and relatives of the organizers, and ranged from ages 8-13. We're excited to show this list to all who may doubt that concepts like empathy, respect, love, kindness, giving, appreciation, happiness, and creativity could be universally understood and valued by children, especially across cultures. In fact, one of our Afghan organizers said later that he himself was shocked to hear the "advanced" concepts that his son was expressing during the activity.
"We learned to work together", "Today was about friendship", "What I learned today is that life does not stay in one condition...If there are some sad moments then after that 100 percent happy moments will also come"; these are just a few of the comments harvested at the end of that immensely full day of learning NVC in Kabul, Afghanistan on November 3, 2007.
The children's day was icing to the cake that would follow. Over 20 participants, with leaders from the Ministry of Women's Affairs, a representative from the Ministry of Economics, representatives from Save the Children and other NGOs attended a 5-day intensive training at the Bureau for Reconstruction and Development offices in Kabul from November 4th through 8th, 2007. Building upon a foundation of deeply understanding universal human needs, we shared NVC as a tangible process for connecting to life-serving energy that can support ‘meaning full' contributions towards creating a more peaceful world. The participants learned to draw key distinctions with the basic concepts of NVC.
Everyone showed particular excitement to learn about and experience the universality of human needs, which contributed to many insights about how to connect across vast differences. The woman who heads the Ministry of Women's Affairs in Afghanistan said during our closing celebration, "My religion tells me that I am supposed to forgive. But a lot has happened to me in my life, and for many years I've never been able to forgive many people that did me harm. Now, after this training, I can finally forgive, because now I see that they were doing the best they could to meet their needs." This deeply moving realization summed up one of the core goals of the trainers, though forgiveness was never directly addressed during the training.
We used a range of activities in the large group, in small groups, and in pairs to practice empathic connecting, communicating, conflict resolution and elements of a reconciliation circle process that is applied around the world, notably in Brazil with CNVC Certified Trainer Dominic Barter's work.
The middle of the week brought news of the bombing in New Baghlan that claimed the lives of dozens of people, including school children and members of parliament; media reports said that it was the most devastating attack since 2001. Trainers, participants, and organizers alike were all shaken by the news, and came together in the morning to share prayers and tears. What emerged was a renewed and intensified sense of community, connection, and drive, which quickly energized the group into applying the concepts and ideas that we were learning. Participants broke into small groups based on project themes, and applied the reconciliation circle process to their ideas. Groups formed to create projects ranging from a human rights awareness campaign designed to end violence against children (including kidnapping and organ trafficking), to a micro-credit program, to starting a school, to an agricultural project aimed at getting viable seeds to a small village. At one point during the afternoon, one man remarked, with a smile on his face, "If all of these projects happen, we will surely create peace in Afghanistan."
Khan Agha Dawoodzai organized these intensives with his staff at the Bureau for Reconstruction and Development with the intention to have as many NVC trainings as possible to be offered to various leaders and key figures in Afghan orginazations. He believes NVC can help the current generation of Afghans to know a culture of peace. Previously, Khan also successfully organized a training with certified trainers Verena Jegher and Selene Aitken in August 2007.
The trainers for the November training, Jesse Wiens (NVC certification candidate), Jiva Manske (NVC facilitator) and myself, Catherine Cadden (CNVC certified trainer), fundraised the $13, 056 to make it possible. Although this money covered expenses, trainers were not compensated for the work itself. However, these funds did enable all participants to attend free of charge, sponsored secure travel for the women who attended the adult training, and gifted over $300 in art supplies to the school for the deaf. Over 200 people from 5 continents contributed to this project we named Project Peace Rising: Afghanistan. To find out more about the success of Project Peace Rising please visit http://zenvc.org/peacerising.
We hope to return to Kabul in November 2008. Our goals include in-school trainings for children, parents, and educators; as well as working with leaders of NGOs, UN representatives, and government officials. We invite your financial support of our continued efforts to support Khan in bringing NVC to the Afghan people who are so willing, ready and desiring peaceable social change on all levels of life.
Go to http://zenvc.org/peacerising where you can make an offering in support of social change in Afghanistan.
You can also contact Catherine Cadden, CNVC certified Trainer and founder of The TEMBA School, directly at tembacatherine@yahoo.com for more information.