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Quantum Learning - nonviolent living

I got this feedback the other day from our first user of the new feedback forms. And it got me thinking...

"Why doesn't CNVC have a shopping cart? I order a hundred books a year, and I end up using Amazon.com because you don't have a shopping cart. With all the improvements, why not? I've been told that hidden somewhere I haven't found, in the middle of some page is a link to Puddle Press and they have a shopping cart, but when I use your web site, I'm supposed to call and write a check and mail it? Nope."

I liked that feedback, in part because I have proposed that very thing. The book store coordinator likes the idea. And the idea is being given serious consideration.

Already the sale of materials on the site, which is done by phone, is an important part of the income we get from activity other than Marshall. We could make it more fun for everybody with a up to date shopping cart.

Lately, I have been appreciating the views expressed by Conal Elliot, a member of the NVC community who lives in San Andreas, California, which is about 2 hours east of the Bay Area.

My first blog here, and I am feeling uncertain, curious, and hopeful for connection and gowth. I'm interested to hear back any comments from anyone who reads this, so that I know that it is achieving its aim of connection with others. Your comments may increase the chances that I will post again! LOL

   Last weekend, I led a 2-day NVC foundation training for 30 people in Kwan-ju, in the southern province of South Korea. There were 30 people in attendance, and aside from my interpreter, almost no one spoke English, and even the 2 or 3 who did, only spoke a little bit.

The lists of universal human needs that are widely circulated among the NVC community vary somewhat, but most contain the same 90%+ needs.

My assumption is that the original list of needs was created by the founder of NVC, Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, and has been adapted and revised by various trainers.

There are a few needs that appear on some "needs lists" that are dubious as to whether they are actually describing a universal element of life for all human beings.

First, allow me to offer my own definition of "need" as we define it in NVC:

"A quality of life energy that arises from inside of me, and asks for attention and fulfillment. Needs are the basic building blocks of life that are required to sustain and enrich life. They are universal in nature, meaning that all human beings share the same needs."

So, here are a few so-called "needs" that I call into question:

On Thursday, I gave a 1 hour, 45 minute lecture to students at the International Christian University (ICU) in Tokyo. I was invited by Professori Mori, who teaches a class on international relations.

Hideayaki and Haruno, two of my Japanese friends, made this connection with ICU, and I am grateful.

(photo taken by Ken Anno-- thank you, Ken)

On my first full day in Japan, I led a day-long training at the Asian
Rural Institute (ARI), for 25 people from 12 different countries in
Africa and Asia.

All of them them, as far as I know, spoke
English as a second language, and because there were so many different
languages among them -- and because ARI's programs are all in English -- there was no interpreter.

SAMPLE FEEDBACK FROM NVC WORKSHOPS with Liz Kingsnorth

At some point in my journey of learning and integrating Nonviolent Communication (NVC), I took on an unconscious belief that went something like this:

"If I know NVC, that means I should be able to make any relationship work. And if I can't, then that means I must be inadequate at using NVC." Eeeks! Clearly a jackal belief, if there ever was one! And I see how holding this belief would make it all that much more difficult to sustain intimacy and closeness in relationships.