Compassion is an Inside Job: NVC as Personal Transformation

DATES:  Friday, April 24 (6:30 pm – 9:30 pm) -AND- Saturday, April 25 (9:30 am - 5:30 pm), 2009

PARTICIPANTS: Designed for people with previous NVC training experience

* Note:  For people new to NVC, we are offering a 1/2 day introductory session on
Sunday, April 26 from 1:30 pm - 5:30 pm.  For details, visit:
http://www.cnvc.org/en/compassionate-communication-language-heart-0

DESCRIPTION:

  Join us for a special opportunity to deepen your practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC) in this intermediate learning and practice session.

  The more we practice NVC, the more we can see how Compassion is an "Inside Job."  In other words, as we practice NVC in our relationships, we come to see how others are mirrors for us, showing us places inside that are calling out for attention and healing.

  Have you noticed that with certain issues, no matter how much empathy you receive, still you are triggered and feel upset about certain things? Sometimes VERY upset?  This session will incorporate processes for deeper self-empathy and for exploring and healing the deeper causes of our judging and suffering -- core jackal beliefs.

  In this session, you will increase your ability to recognize when you are triggered by core beliefs, and practice a process that creates deep-seated shifts in your inner world.  This will help to liberate yourself from your repetitive reactions, transform your core beliefs, and experience more peace, freedom and compassion.

WHAT ARE CORE BELIEFS?

Allow me to give an example:

In many NVC groups around the world, people become triggered and disconnected, or do not have the skills to connect compassionately.  This has led to pain and frustration among many people who are attempting to live NVC and share it with others.

This is surprising, because undeniably, these people have NVC skills.  They have learned how to offer empathy, and how to express themselves honestly; however they lose access to these skills when they are stimulated.

Why is this so?  Because as human beings, we operate on two levels:  1) what is conscious to us; and 2) what is below our consciousness, and impacting us whenever we get triggered.

So for instance, people who have practiced NVC can usually recognize an "everyday jackal thought" such as the thought, "That was a very rude thing to say -- he really should be more considerate."  Then, we can apply empathy to create a shift toward more compassion, enabling us to respond more creatively and effectively to the situation.

However, what gives rise to everyday jackal thoughts is the repository of core beliefs such as, "The world is an unsafe place," or, "I am a defective person," or, "People cannot be trusted."  These are core beliefs because they are not specific to time and place, and get activated when we encounter a person who does something that reminds us (usually unconsciously) of the core belief.

Until we identify and shift these core beliefs, we will continue to experience inner disturbance and be in a state of upset, which distracts us from our needs and reinforces life-alienated choices.

A core belief, therefore, is:

• A fundamental belief or idea that are the cause of all jackal thinking and language.
• A belief that contributes to ongoing pain, or lock us into pain.
• A belief that has a lot of power over us – so that empathy, by itself, does not have enough power to overcome the belief.
• A belief that prevents us from fully living in NVC consciousness.

* Note:  I want to acknowledge and celebrate NVC trainers Robert Gonzales and Susan Skye (www.nvcti.com) for developing this work and teaching it to me.

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LOCATION:  Covenant Presbyterian Church, 326 Segoe Rd., Madison, WI 53705

FACILITATOR:  Jeff Brown (St. Louis, MO), Certified Trainer with the Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)

COST:  $105/person earlybird rate (by March 30); $125/person after March 30
* For those who are not able to afford our fee request due to their financial situation, we have a few work exchange opportunities to reduce the cost. Contact Jennifer about this.

REGISTER: Contact Jennifer Warnick:  jennifer@heartfeltcommunication.com or 608-554-2038.  Checks can be made payable to ‘Jeff Brown' and sent to:  Jennifer Warnick, 202 Davidson St., Apt. 2, Madison, WI 53716.  Credit card payments also accepted online (ask Jennifer for a secure payment link).