I would like support for how to notice --and then get myself out of-- when I get into a pattern of advice, fixing, etc. One of my typical triggers is when someone I'm very close with is very challenged, is hurting and in pain. I want to do something and don't know what. I fear that if I do nothing and sit there on the phone in silence that they will feel abandoned and alone and fell like they're dangling or that I don't care or am not listening. My nervousness is uncomfortable for me and so go to what I grew up with and am used to: advice, fixing it, creative ideas, etc... They're "good" ideas, if you know what I mean, but they are not connecting words and I can tell that they didn't like it. How can I first of all notice that I'm doing this, sooner than later? AND then how to recover on the phone and get on track? I'd love to hear different approaches. Thanks, Paul
