Kirsten Kristensen

Language of Report: 
Year of Report: 
Share My Report With: 
General Public (Including Certified Trainers and Certification Candidates)
A. Approximately how many training days did you have this year?: 
B. Briefly list the groups and organizations you worked with this year as a trainer.: 
Healing and reconciliation with NVC in Nepal. 1- and 2-year groups, Train-The-Trainer, family camps, folk high school, schools, kindergartens, NVC-convention in India, “Healing your inner child” in UK, Shrimala trust in UK 22 days were pro bono
C. Approximately how many people did you offer NVC training to this year?: 
D. What are you celebrating about your training experiences this year? What was significant for you? What touched your heart?: 
I have had the joy of being invited to train with my friend Shantigarbha in Nepal, where we had a very nice team with Duke, Chris, Jeannine Suurmond and a international group of experienced NVC people. Among them Carolyn Davies, who is making a film from our Restorative Circle – it’s on its way – hurraaa. the film is here: In our training in Nepal I had the honor of working with a group of victims of torture and ex-worriors. I was especially touched by a man who courageously worked with his experience of torture, through an exercise together with one of those who had been on the other side in the conflict. The final step they were not able to make together, so I worked with him. He reached a bodily experience of self-connection and dignity, and looked at me with surprise, saying, “something is changing”. After the break the translator came to me and told me that the man during the break had expressed that the inner changes continued during break time. So I invited everyone who had taken part in this exercise to meet again in the evening to debrief. This man came and a few others. He shared how he felt his body waking up in the places where it had been tortured 10 years ago, a tingling alive feeling kept moving inside of his legs, he could hardly believe it. He shared that for the first time in 10 years he could cry. In the closing around of the last day of the week everyone was invited to say a short sentence, and this man said: “Even a stone can melt.” My heart melts right now remembering this intense moment. Again this year I had the pleasure of training in UK and continue my exploration of healing and body wisdom. I also found great joy, meaning and recognition offering training in a Buddhist Sangha invited by my friend Patrycja Bielak.
E. Would you share some difficult experiences you had while training this year and how you handled them?: 
What stands out the most after this year is a conflict in one of my teams after 10 years of cooperation. I find that we handled it with grace and took time to connect, listen openly, express bluntly and sharpen our awareness. I believe that both of us grew, learned, expanded our inner space, and our love for each other.
F. How do you teach the spiritual basis of Nonviolent Communication in your workshops and training programs? : 
I am again intrigued by the power of the heart, and how well fitting it is to call NVC “A Language of the Heart”. I focus more on body, breathing and heart when exploring the life that moves in us, and which can be named with need words. I also like to focus on the life that wants to live through me.
G. Please describe your social change goals...: 
Peace in 15 years. In 2009 I set the goal of peace in 20 years. I am enjoying so many signs of synergy towards A Culture of Peace in schools, Education for Peace, and even building infrastructure for peace, like what is happening in Nepal. I continue to be passionate about contributing to NVC people working in collaboration and living from a place of interconnectedness.
J. Please describe your efforts to create, or join, an NVC circle or organization.: 
Our association Life-enriching Communication (Livsberigende Kommunikation - LIVKOM) is still growing. Now I would say that we have had so much success that we are in trouble. We have grown faster than we can handle both administrative and cooperation wise. So now we are facing a challenge of creating new agreements where each persons legitimate interests can be accommodated inside our association, and where we define more clear boundaries between personal interest, and common vision, mission and aim. I am sad to say that we have not managed to keep a heart-connected dialog with each other during this challenging year. I have more to learn about how to nurture the space between us. The film project “A Culture of Peace in School” is now finished in Danish. It is out on Facebook and YouTube and has been very well received. The name is now “Bag enhver handling ligger et behov” which means “Behind every action there is a need”. We are right now working on creating English subtitle for the film, and also a booklet with exercise that will be available for free download together with feelings and needs cards. I am very hopeful and enthusiastic about how it will serve and inspire teachers around our globe. See it here: My main co-operation partners continue to be my friend Gerhard Rothhaupt and my Danish colleagues within our association.
K. Summarize participants’ evaluations, and how their feedback resulted in new learning or growth for you this past year.: 
My learning is – again – that less is more. In general I get feedback that people are inspired, uplifted, empowered and find deeper connection with self and others. Participants often remind me of the value it has for them to have a team of trainers that complement each other. I also have received feedback from participant who was not at all satisfied and I am still working with understanding what happened in that training. Maybe I can share more next year.
L. What are your current growing edges or challenges as a trainer that you will be working on in the future?: 
I am overwhelmingly challenged with a growing edge around standing up for myself. I have put my wish to include everyone and everything so high that I have forgotten to care for my own interests. So now I am going through one more steep learning around listening to my own inner feedback when situations are not meeting my needs. And then practicing being powerful and at the same time being heartful. I used to enjoy the idea that my spirituality is how I show up in difficult situations, and now that measurement is kind of painful to look at. Wishing to be able to live from a more spiritual place and at the same time recognizing that this means first of all to be truthful to myself. Sigh – more work. Aaahhh – also sweet to recognize.
M. If you found opportunities to work with other trainers this year, please share the most meaningful experiences for you.: 
In our team in India we have the criteria that “we don’t import conflicts”. This means that if a person wants to join the team and have a conflict with someone in the team, we ask them to solve it before the person can join. This is to protect our time and energy during trainings, so we can focus on the training as much as possible, and of course deal with conflicts that might arise in the team during training – but not start out with an unsolved conflict. I was part of such a conflict and we manage to connect and solve and reestablish sweet heart connection. This was meaning full to me. But even more meaningful was to hear the other trainers’ celebration of the reconnection. One said: “to hear this, was in it self worth my long travel here”. Several of the trainers expressed celebration, and how much we all hope that this would happen more often in our network. I guess we all know of some unsolved conflict in our NVC network, and to be with two people who committed to work it out and really did was a sweet shared experience.
N. Is there anything else you would enjoy sharing with the CNVC network?: 
I believe that there are some pitfalls in how we (some of us) sometimes put one specific need at the top. Like if inclusion or willingness or freedom become the governing principle, instead of connection and meeting everybody’s needs.

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