Jack Lehman

Language of Report: 
Year of Report: 
Share My Report With: 
General Public (Including Certified Trainers and Certification Candidates)
A. Approximately how many training days did you have this year?: 
C. Approximately how many people did you offer NVC training to this year?: 
D. What are you celebrating about your training experiences this year? What was significant for you? What touched your heart?: 
What touched my heart was the realization that i have the opportunity as a trainer to interact with other travelers in the sacred space of vulnerability where we take risks and expose ourselves, expose our deepest mournings and yearnings and have them witnessed, held with care and appreciation. I don't know of anything more precious than that.
E. Would you share some difficult experiences you had while training this year and how you handled them?: 
I interrupted a participant and after I recieved some name calling fuelled by anger and distress I got triggered. I was able to request a member of the group to take the lead in "giving" her empathy. The participant, a 1/2 hour later, at the very end of the day, started another outburst similar to the first one and then walked out the hall. The group stayed about an hour and half more expressing the life in us. As we broke for the day I felt distress and anxiety and worried about the learning of the group. The next day I was able to own that i had been triggered and what i would have done differently. I would have split the group up with the more experienced people going with her and the rest of the group going with me so that we could have both gotten enough empathy to be able to come back to full presence. I also talked about my core wounding and core needs and what role they played in how i was triggered. In the end the group regained it's cohesion and we used the energy that was generated for learning and connection. The most important principle that was underscored, I would say, is the importance of "leading with vulnerability".
F. How do you teach the spiritual basis of Nonviolent Communication in your workshops and training programs? : 
I have a distaste for the word "spiritual". To me it has malodorous associations with organized religion. Furthermore I really don't know the meaning of the word. The meaning will change depending on the speaker. I personally don't use the word. I find that I express myself more clearly without it. This choice seems akin to the Buddhist thinking and the scientific approach where using the simplest, least complicated way of describing/explaining phenomena is preferred. Why use an ambiguous term if you don't have to? I prefer the language used by J Krishnamurti. I was greatly influenced by his teachings. In fact the three greatest influences in my life were Nietzsche, Krishnamurti and Marshall. (I hesitate to put Rajneesh in there, and also find it hard not to mention here, because his influence was more practical/experiential, namely centering/co-creating a commune in which i lived for about 10 years.) K talked about conditioning and freedom. I see the importance of examining conditioning (jacklespeak, the domination paradyme) thoroughly so that participants can identify in themselves their own core wounds, beliefs, behaiors, that keep them from being free. Freedom is a useful metaphor, easy to understand on many levels, even if it's not so easily "attained". It works well on differently levels of discourse and experience: the physical, sociological, political, philosophical, psychological, etc. Even the ultimate so called spiritual experience, nirvana, enlightenment etc., can be talked about in terms of freedom, as did J Krishanmurti when he talked about "Freedom from the Known".
G. Please describe your social change goals...: 
Jung talked about introverts and extraverts in terms of brain function and his theory appeals to me. When i look at myself through that lens, i see myself as an introvert. I think that I am drawn to working with groups and individuals who have a strong desire to get free of conditioning. I delight in walking beside/interacting with people who realize that the unexamined life isn't worth living and burn to be free. For now, that's where my passion is and that's how I approach social change.
J. Please describe your efforts to create, or join, an NVC circle or organization.: 
This year has been more of an inward journey than previous years. I just now find myself more drawn to being more social and therefore more open to creating and participating in more NVC circles.
K. Summarize participants’ evaluations, and how their feedback resulted in new learning or growth for you this past year.: 
Participants feedback to me this year was invariably "positive" and a source support.
L. What are your current growing edges or challenges as a trainer that you will be working on in the future?: 
I have been working with a lot of pain in my right hip. That's been an issue for me for 2.5 years now. I think that it is finally healing up and i anticipate having more energy for offering more trainings as well as being able to do other things i love. On a psychological level an edge I'm still working on is an old one, reverting to arguing/criticising when i percieve attack. My strategy is basically letting go into vulnerability. It's so delicious when it happens!
M. If you found opportunities to work with other trainers this year, please share the most meaningful experiences for you.: 
I did not offer any trainings with other trainers this year. I do miss collaborating and see that in my near future. I am dreaming of co-creating an NVC event in the high country of New Mexico, specifically the Pecos Wilderness in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains, not far from where i live in Santa Fe, NM. Combining horses, wilderness and NVC looks very exciting to me.
N. Is there anything else you would enjoy sharing with the CNVC network?: 
I enjoy the discussions on the trainer list serve. The conversations meet needs for learning and comradery.

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