Pernille Plantener

Language of Report: 
English
Year of Report: 
2011
Share My Report With: 
General Public
A. Approximately how many training days did you have this year?: 
16
B. Briefly list the groups and organizations you worked with this year as a trainer.: 

Adult learning - open for public. Run by AOF Slagelse. (12 days)
Teachers who teach adult learners. Run by AOF Slagelse. (3 days)
Kindergarten employees at Færøerne. Private. (2 days)

C. Approximately how many people did you offer NVC training to this year?: 
40
D. What are you celebrating about your training experiences this year? What was significant for you? What touched your heart?: 

I celebrate the ease I experienced when being spontaneous with a group of students. The AHA moments when the students realized new possibilities. Participants' movement from shyness to openness in a group context. The trust and the healing being reslt of the trust. The heartbreaking stories the participants brought, and how they went home and dealt with their relationships in new ways, and the celebrations they shared afterwards.

E. Would you share some difficult experiences you had while training this year and how you handled them?: 

I had a group of teachers having very different expectations. Some were there to learn NVC, others to hang around with other teachers, to be seen and heard. One participant let himself provoke by the contents of NVC and reacted emotionally and agressively.I found it hard to balance his needs of being seen and understood with the needs of those who came to learn NVC. I chose to disclose myself and share the dilemma I was facing and this way include the whole group in the care for the person in need of attention.
He didn't show up at the 3rd of three days and the difference in the group was tangible, much easier to convey the NVC messages.
I mourn the fact that I didn't succeed in creating a learning environment that was safe and inspiring for everybody. I hope that the demonstrations of how to handle somebody who is not complying to the agenda empathically served as inspiration for the rest of the group - who were all teachers.

F. How do you teach the spiritual basis of Nonviolent Communication in your workshops and training programs? : 

I start every training day with a remembering that sets the tone of interconnectedness and interdependency which for me is spirituality in an everyday form. I give space for reflections on this.
I let my worldview shine through in every moment of the training: There is no right and wrong, there are people who are trying their best to meet their needs, we are all sharing the same needs, the same Earth and the same air, love is the basic spiritual principle and practice.
It's important for me to show this belief in the way I approach people, more than speaking about it. Thus, I encourage people to find their own nonviolent attitude within and I underline that there is no such thing as speaking the 'right' NVC. That practicing the four step is a path toward needs awareness, not a goal in itself.

G. Please describe your social change goals...: 

I want to encourage and train people working within politics, environmentalists, social justice workers, NGO's and others who actively work with social change to connect with themselves and each other on a need level. So that they are better able to carry out their work in a manner that's still more inclusive, connecting and respecting, thus contributing to creating changes that are sustainable.
I long to see a world where every decision is made in understanding of the impacts it is having on our planet, the living environment and each other and everybody's needs being taken into consideration. I believe an important step is to help bringing those involved in touch with their own feelings and needs, thus enabling them to get in touch with other people's feelings and needs and to move from fixed, unexplored beliefs into sensitive connections.

H. Please describe your efforts to create, or join, an NVC circle or organization.: 

I'm a member of the 2 NVC organizations in Denmark and contributing by: Editing the newsletter, participating in the policy making and writing funding applications. Apart from this, I've been co-creating and am facilitating an open NVC practice group that's connected to similar groups in 4 other countries through an EU funded project.
I value connection with the other NVC trainers and participate in the events I possibly can.

I. Summarize participants’ evaluations, and how their feedback resulted in new learning or growth for you this past year.: 

I've got the feedback that I'm enthusiastic and very much alive when teaching and that the examples I use from my everyday life is of high value. Thus, I use this deliberately in my workshops.
I've learned that groups can be very different and in some groups, there is not the initial trust necessary for the participants to share personal stories. Thus, it's important that I bring examples they can work with as an alternative to sharing their personal stories.
I've also got the feedback that when one participant is taking up more space than the rest of the group members in a way that doesn't contribute to the growth and learning, participants experience impatience and unease. Thus, I've learned to prioritize the needs of the whole group in a way that still cares for the single member. This is an act of balance that I'm still finding challenging.

J. What are your current growing edges or challenges as a trainer that you will be working on in the future?: 

To set the frame more distinctly. Example: If someone brings in something that's not NVC and he wants to include it, be more sharp in telling what we are here for. Thus risking the approval of this person.
To be more conscious about the fact that every participant has the responsibility for themselves and not acting on my urge to save them.

K. If you found opportunities to work with other trainers this year, please share the most meaningful experiences for you.: 

What comes first to my mind was the group assessment in March. These three days of intimate NVC community around the assessment of 6 of us was outstanding. For me much more than an assessment; it was an initiation that's left me different from the person I was: More honest and authentic, more courageous in the way I show up.
In the practice group I co-facilitate with another trainer, we had a disagreement on how to lead an excercise. The situation was painful as I didn't manage myself but spoke out loud in front of the group. The beautyful part of it was the process that followed after the group was over. The 2 of us went through a true reconciliation process that has lead to a closer friendship and more trust in the way we co-operate.

L. Is there anything else you would enjoy sharing with the CNVC network?: 

I am so hopeful about the changes in the CNVC. I love being part of this community. I learn from every email I receive, from the sensitive sharings and the loads of good will to create a strong and inclusive community, that pours out from the exchanges. THANK YOU.

Posted Fri, 2012-05-18 05:58 by Pernille Plantener

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