Glenda Mattinson

Language of Report: 
English
Year of Report: 
2011
Share My Report With: 
General Public
A. Approximately how many training days did you have this year?: 
50
B. Briefly list the groups and organizations you worked with this year as a trainer.: 

Toronto District School Board
Sisters of Providence (Catholic Church)

C. Approximately how many people did you offer NVC training to this year?: 
175
D. What are you celebrating about your training experiences this year? What was significant for you? What touched your heart?: 

Each time someone became aware of a judgment they were holding of themselves or someone else, and then was able to break through that "film" of judgment to a place of compassionate connection with themselves and the other person - which generally happened at least once for each person in each training.

When, from this place of compassionate connection, people were able to discover new ways to meet their needs in situations in which it had felt impossible - seeing a light in their faces like the dawning of a new day.

E. Would you share some difficult experiences you had while training this year and how you handled them?: 

The major challenge for me consistently in sharing this work in groups (as opposed to with individuals) is in dealing with situations when two or more people in the group are triggered and needing empathy before they can hear the needs of the other(s).

It has been my experience that the most powerful thing I can do in those moments is to remain peacefully connected to my own needs, and to my trust that everyone's needs can be met. I find that when I hold that trust, the people involved seem to feel a bit calmer and to have more trust in that themselves. The actions that arise from this usually involves trying to use the resources available in the space to provide empathy to the individuals involved, sometimes out of earshot from one another. And it sometimes also involves my sharing the truth of how I'm feeling (often sad) and my desire for each person's needs to be met.

F. How do you teach the spiritual basis of Nonviolent Communication in your workshops and training programs? : 

The two primary ways I share this are
1) by seeking to stay connected to the spiritual basis of NVC in all aspects of my life, especially modeling it during workshops, and
2) by supporting people in connecting to that energy in situations in which they are holding judgments of themselves and others.

I also speak about it and have written material / posters up in the rooms in which I teach, pointing to this.

G. Please describe your social change goals...: 

I share CNVC's vision of a world of life-serving systems that support everyone affected to meet their needs. And I have only tantalizing glimpses of pieces of what that might mean, without clarity about the strategies.

I dream of schools where teachers, students, parents and administrators have a shared broad and inclusive vision of all of the needs we as a society are seeking to meet by establishing schools, where the most effective strategies we are aware of for doing that are being implemented, and where everyone is ongoingly seeking to learn from one another and our shared experiences how to meet those needs with increasing effectiveness.

I dream of organizations in which people earn all or part of their livelihood that also meet their needs for meaning, aliveness, contribution, learning, connection and creativity. And where the products and services being provided - and how they are manufactured, distributed, funded, and serviced - meet the needs of customers, suppliers, distributors, employees' families and everyone else affected by the organization.

I have sought to live these visions in my work with teachers, parents, and organizations, as a first step to helping to create them.

H. Please describe your efforts to create, or join, an NVC circle or organization.: 

The other members of the circle that I had formed and that had been together for about 18 months have chosen to shift their attention to other areas of their lives, primarily employment-related.

This experience, as well as the training I have done over the past year, has left me with four hypotheses about organizations:

1 - It may be easier to maintain an organization over time if all its members rely upon one another to produce a meaningful product or service to others who, in return, provide the organization's members with their livelihood.

2 - One of the biggest challenges in maintaining a "new way" circle or organization is people's willingness to spend the time and energy necessary to clear conflicts - on their own as well as with one another. It is hard for many people to trust that the time and energy invested will be abundantly repaid many times over in ease and peace, freer time and more abundant energy - and my experience is that this is true.

3 - Many people underestimate the number of conversations that may be needed to fully address a conflict and become discouraged if problems are not resolved on the first attempt.

4 - It will be easiest for economically viable "new way" organizations to thrive long-term if they are founded and staffed by people who already live from NVC consciousness, rather than trying to simultaneously develop the consciousness and the business at the same time, both of which take very significant investments of time and energy.

Based on these hypotheses, in forming other circles in the future, I would focus on just one primary objective - the circle / organization would be either focused on mutual support and learning, or on delivering a product or service to the community.

In the second case, I would want the "how" of delivering the product or service to meet needs for care, support and learning for the members of the organization, but we would all understand that that is not the "why" of the organization.

I. Summarize participants’ evaluations, and how their feedback resulted in new learning or growth for you this past year.: 

I received a few requests for more support to meet physical needs – more comfortable chairs, and to include a break in my intros (which I have done).

Participants have been consistently very satisfied with the training and coaching support I have offered, finding unexpected new ways to get their needs met in relationship, thus experiencing deeper and more compassionate connection with people in their lives, and greater hope and trust in being able to resolve future conflicts.

Based not so much on their direct feedback, as in observing their choices over time, I am seeking ways to support ongoing practice in ways that will fit easily and naturally into their already very busy lives.

J. What are your current growing edges or challenges as a trainer that you will be working on in the future?: 

I continue to seek ways to share NVC that are ever more enjoyable, fun and satisfying for me - as well as supportive for people who wish to learn it.

I have enjoyed starting to do more writing this year.

K. If you found opportunities to work with other trainers this year, please share the most meaningful experiences for you.: 

This year I have chosen to invest more time in potentially difficult conversations with colleague trainers - seeking to ever more fully live the principles we share. "Walking the talk" is a very meaningful way for me to help to realize our vision.

L. Is there anything else you would enjoy sharing with the CNVC network?: 

I believe that each of us has some unique ways that we can meaningfully contribute to the work of creating a world in which everyone's needs are equally valued and are being met through natural giving.

As the NVC community matures, I look forward to an increasing diversity of strategies for doing this. I'm hoping that each of us will be able to share NVC in our unique ways more and more - our strategies becoming as unique and diverse as we are as individuals.

For myself, I am looking forward to doing more work with individuals, and being able to share more in writing. For those who are interested in these forms of support, you can read some of what I have written and book time for one-on-one support at www.coachglenda.com

Posted Sat, 2012-04-28 15:27 by Glenda Mattinson

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