Glenda Mattinson

Language of Report: 
English
Year of Report: 
2010
Share My Report With: 
General Public
A. Approximately how many training days did you have this year?: 
70
B. Briefly list the groups and organizations you worked with this year as a trainer.: 

Centre for Spirituality at Work

C. Approximately how many people did you offer NVC training to this year?: 
100
D. What are you celebrating about your training experiences this year? What was significant for you? What touched your heart?: 

The most meaningful thing for me this year has been connecting with people who are committed to the ongoing, consistent practice involved in mastering the heart of this work: the ability to shift at a cognitive AND emotional level the way we are holding a difficult situation - from judgement and blame to one of compassionate connection to the needs of everyone involved.

I expect that we may all spend the rest of our lives increasing our capacity to use this skill in more and more situations - and the moment in which someone discovers that they have this capacity to shift their experience of a situation is one of great joy for me - because I believe it is this power that is helping us to create a world in which everyone's needs are being met.

The other moments that have been really inspiring for me have been when people, having connected to all the needs, are willing to stay in the place of not seeing how they can all be met - until they find a way.

Because my experience is that once someone discovers that it is possible to meet all their needs when they thought it was impossible, it increases their trust at a gut level that this is possible in every situation. And when they have this trust, it supports them in continuing to look for those solutions - until they find them.

E. Would you share some difficult experiences you had while training this year and how you handled them?: 

The major challenge for me consistently in sharing this work in groups (as opposed to with individuals) is in dealing with situations when two or more people in the group are triggered and needing empathy before they can hear the needs of the other(s).

It has been my experience that the most powerful thing I can do in those moments is to remain peacefully connected to my own needs, and to my trust that everyone's needs can be met. I find that when I hold that trust, the people involved seem to feel a bit calmer and to have more trust in that themselves. The actions that arise from this usually involve trying to use the resources available in the space to provide empathy to the individuals involved, sometimes out of earshot from one another. And it sometimes also involves my sharing the truth of how I'm feeling (often sad) and my desire for each person's needs to be met, even if we can't see ways to meet them all right now.

F. How do you teach the spiritual basis of Nonviolent Communication in your workshops and training programs? : 

The two primary ways I share this are 1) by seeking to stay connected to the spiritual basis of NVC in all aspects of my life, especially modeling it during workshops, and 2) by supporting people in connecting to that energy in situations in which they initially are holding judgments of themselves and/or others.

I also speak about it and have written material / posters up in the rooms in which I teach, pointing to this.

G. Please describe your social change goals...: 

I share CNVC's vision of a world of life-serving systems that support everyone affected to meet their needs. And I have only tantalizing glimpses of pieces of what that might mean, without clarity about the strategies.

My social change work involves trying to create local organizations and systems that honor this vision - for example by seeking to have each training session focus on the needs that are alive in the room, using available resources to help meet them, and acknowledging and mourning any needs we are / were not able to meet.

I dream of schools where teachers, students, parents and administrators have a shared broad and inclusive vision of all of the needs we as a society are seeking to meet by establishing schools, where the most effective strategies we are aware of for doing that are being implemented, and where everyone is ongoingly seeking to learn from one another and our shared experiences how to meet those needs with increasing effectiveness.

I dream of organizations in which people earn all or part of their livelihood that also meet their needs for meaning, aliveness, contribution, learning, connection and creativity. And where the products and services being provided - and how they are manufactured, distributed, funded, and serviced - meet the needs of customers, suppliers, distributors, employees' families and everyone else affected by the organization.

H. Please describe your efforts to create, or join, an NVC circle or organization.: 

The two long-term members of my local NVC community with whom I seek to remain in consistent connection are my partner John Stevens and Henry Wai, the other CNVC-Certified Trainer here in Toronto. I deeply appreciate the mutual sense of support I receive in each of these relationships.

In addition, I have been delighted that there have been a small core of people attending trainings here who are clearly committed to learning and sharing NVC here in Toronto in alignment with the spiritual basis of this work. In January 2010, I invited a small group to work together with me as a community of apprentices, one of the requests being that we would live NVC among us, including resolving any conflicts restoratively.



I believe that in order for us to help create world-wide life-serving systems and organizations, it is important for us to create and participate in them locally – to first live what we want to teach and support. In creating this small community, I am seeking to live this principle myself.


In addition, I was sensing disconnection within a larger, loosely connected community of NVC practitioners who had attended a meeting of people in Toronto interested in becoming certified trainers. After considering various approaches, I invited those who were interested to participate in a Restorative Circle, which was initially focused on a particular interaction in that meeting, but which served to surface a variety of unmet needs for many of the participants, so we could find strategies to address them. I am deeply grateful to Duke Duchscherer for facilitating this event by phone. I believe this event helped to create a fuller sense of connection among NVC practitioners in the city.

I. Summarize participants’ evaluations, and how their feedback resulted in new learning or growth for you this past year.: 

Overall, most of the feedback I’ve received indicates that people’s needs for clarity, understanding, warmth, connection and learning have been met through the training approaches I’ve been using.

I really appreciate the feedback I have received from training participants that my training approaches support them in using NVC successfully in their lives - not just understanding the concepts, but knowing which tools to use when to create connection and find mutually satisfying strategies.

Most of the enhancements to the content and approach in my trainings have come as a result of my own noticing of moments that I would like to have handled in a more effective way.

Most of the needs-not-met feedback I received this year focused on logistical issues which increased my awareness of the importance of this factor in creating a satisfying learning environment. I addressed these factors directly where possible, and by providing additional information in pre-course communications about the training environment and approaches that people have found helpful in feeling comfortable in it. I have not received repeats of these concerns and requests since.

A couple of people early in the year indicated they were not as clear as they would like to have been about the instructions for an exercise. I have focused on being more consistent in demonstrating each exercise before asking participants to try it, and I have not received this feedback since.

J. What are your current growing edges or challenges as a trainer that you will be working on in the future?: 

Living it in the situations in which I continue to find it challenging (such as dealing with computers and other physical systems that are not acting in ways that meet my need for ease and support).

Becoming more effective in helping people understand the value of choosing to do the work to learn this process can have for them and all the relationships they care about, as well as the well-being of our whole planet. I am more satisfied with my ability to support people in learning the process than in understanding WHY they would want to learn it. I want to focus on enhancing the "why" part.

And, as it has been every year, my ongoing challenge to myself is to continue to look for ways to support people in connecting to the power of NVC more rapidly.

While I continue to
And I continue to look for ways to support people in connecting to the power of NVC more rapidly. While at the same time helping people connect to the increasing my own acceptance of the length of time that it takes to learn this process and be able to apply it in challenging situations.

K. If you found opportunities to work with other trainers this year, please share the most meaningful experiences for you.: 

I have appreciated the opportunity to connect and coordinate with Henry Wai to create a schedule of NVC-related activities happening in Toronto so that people do not have to choose between events he is offering / sponsoring and events I’m offering.

Earlier in my training career, I co-led the majority of my trainings with other trainers. Over the past several years, I have enjoyed the freedom to experiment on my own with a variety of training approaches.

L. Is there anything else you would enjoy sharing with the CNVC network?: 

The longer I seek to use this work in my own life, the more deeply I appreciate it. At this point in my life, I consider it the most meaningful gift I have received, next to the gift of life itself.

I am deeply grateful to Marshall for his articulation of it, including the years in which he sought increasingly effective ways of understanding and expressing the concept of needs.

And I am grateful to be part of a world-wide community that is seeking to learn and share this work.

Posted Thu, 2011-04-14 12:03 by Glenda Mattinson

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